A Prayer for Enemies and the People Who Have Genuinely Hurt You
This is one of the harder prayers in the Christian life. If someone has wounded you deeply, this page is here to help you face what Jesus asks without pretending the pain is small.
This is one of the harder prayers in the Christian life. Not because the theology is complicated, but because the doing of it requires something that does not come naturally to most people.
Praying for the person who wounded you, who wronged you, who treated you in a way that left a mark, is one of the most countercultural and costly things the gospel asks of a believer.
This page will not minimize what was done to you. It will not rush you past legitimate pain. But it will be honest about what Jesus asks and what that asking is actually about.
What Jesus actually said
Matthew 5:43-45 is unambiguous: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This is not presented as a high ideal for unusually mature believers. It is a direct instruction from Jesus at the center of His teaching about how His followers are supposed to live.
Luke 6:27-28 adds specificity: love, do good, bless, and pray. The prayer matters, but it is part of a larger posture that refuses to let hatred have the final word.
And then there is the example. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them,” while being executed unjustly, and Stephen echoed that same spirit while he was being stoned. If you need to remember that God still works in lives marked by sin, repentance, and restoration, the stories of answered prayer and changed hearts can be a steadying reminder.
Why this is so hard
The command to pray for enemies is easy to accept in principle and genuinely difficult to execute in practice, especially when the person you are trying to pray for has caused real damage to your relationships, your finances, your safety, or your sense of self.
The difficulty is not just emotional. Praying for someone requires at least a willingness to place them before God for something other than revenge, and when the wound is fresh, that willingness can feel almost impossible to find.
That is why honesty matters more than polish here. A short, reluctant prayer of obedience is still a real prayer.
Praying is not excusing
This needs to be said clearly: praying for the person who hurt you is not the same as saying what they did was acceptable.
Forgiveness does not require you to minimize the wrong, to reconcile with someone unsafe, or to restore trust where trustworthiness has not been shown. It is possible to release revenge without pretending the wound was small.
Romans 12:19 says to leave room for God’s justice. When you place the person before Him, you are not abandoning justice. You are handing it to better hands than your own.
A prayer for the person who hurt you
What this prayer does in you
One of the less obvious things about praying for an enemy is that it changes the person praying. Bitterness feels powerful, but over time it becomes a prison.
Every replayed wound and every imagined confrontation adds another layer to that prison. Prayer begins to interrupt that cycle, not because the other person deserves it, but because the bitterness is more expensive than the release.
If you are in the middle of that process and need support from people who understand how to carry hard burdens before God, you can ask for prayer while you are trying to forgive someone who deeply hurt you.
What to do when it feels hollow
Start with honesty. “Lord, I am praying this because You told me to and not because I want to” is a genuine prayer. It is more honest than polished words that do not reflect what is actually happening inside you.
Start with truth
Tell God exactly where you are. Do not pretend the hurt is smaller than it is just to sound spiritual.
Keep praying anyway
Feelings are not the measure of whether the prayer counts. Faithful repetition matters, even when the prayer feels dry.
Ask for willingness
If forgiveness itself feels too far away, ask God first for the willingness to want it. That is a valid place to begin.
When you need help carrying it
Some wounds are so deep that this prayer will not be a one-time act. It may become a repeated act of surrender over days, weeks, or years.
In those moments, community matters. If you need believers to stand with you while you work through anger, grief, and the hard obedience of forgiveness, you can share a prayer request for healing from betrayal, anger, and unforgiveness.
And if you need hope that God can still bring mercy, repentance, and restoration into broken situations, reading Christian testimonies about restoration after deep pain may help steady you.
Take one real step today
Pray the prayer above, or use your own words. Keep it short and honest. Do not wait until you feel ready. Start with the decision to obey and let the practice build what the feeling cannot currently supply.
If you need others to pray with you through the specific difficulty of forgiving someone who has caused real damage, you do not have to do this alone.
Let someone pray with you
If the wound is still fresh or the forgiveness still feels far away, bring it into prayer with other believers. You do not need polished words. Honest words are enough.